A number of words can describe jury duty but the one word I’d use is… boring. Mind you it is an important duty but damn, it’s boring. So I get a jury duty summons and, since I already had postponed it once, I had to answer it. So, at the ungodly hour of 8am, I arrive at the jury assembly room. Actually make that a wee bit after 8am due to a sudden rush of traffic at McDonalds (did all those people know I was in a hurry?). One thing that happens when you’re just a bit late is that when you enter a big full room, everyone else is already seated and filling out forms. And all those people are noticing you’re late and most likely clueless since you weren’t there for the preliminary instructions. Needless to say I felt conspicuous and tried to camouflage myself by pretending to know what I was doing.
I approached the front desk and was instructed to find my juror number on the forms and then fill out more forms. Well my juror number wasn’t there. Did this mean I could escape? Dangit, nope. I had to manually add my juror number to the list. The forms I had to fill out were fairly short and basic. So I did all that and then waited. Fortunately I brought the netbook. Unfortunately there wasn’t an access point I could be allowed to use. No Net! Ah the torture!
After some time passed we were forced to watch a 15 minute video about jury duty. That’s right, forced… “You will watch this video and you will like it”
The last time I was summoned, this video was so old and corny it looked like it was straight out of the 50s. Picture June Cleaver cheerfully telling you in minute detail all about jury duty and how it fits into the legal system. Well it turns out they now have a modernized version of the video but it’s still pretty dry material.
So I sat through all that and then the jury coordinator starts talking to us about how we have a different sort of jury that will need to be selected today. A Grand Jury. Uh oh. That means long days, whole month of commitment sort of thing. They shuffled us into a courtroom next door and had us take seats. On the far side of the room were 7 chairs. These are the special chairs where the chosen ones will end up sitting. I wanted to avoid those chairs at all costs. So did everyone else by the look of things. We carefully avoided looking at those chairs and waited for the Judge to come into the room and start the selection process. The waiting seemed to take forever.
Finally the judge entered the room, we stood up, she sat down, we sat down. She gives us the general instructions on the selection process. They’re going to pick 7 people randomly from the jury pool sitting in the room. They start calling out Juror numbers and each person called sits down in one of the special chairs. I am thinking to myself, “Please don’t call 207″. They don’t call 207. Whew, so far so good. The Judge says if there’s undue hardship in serving on the Grand Jury, which is a one month commitment and pretty much all weekdays, then you can be excused and they’ll select another juror. A nervous woman spoke up. They’re going to be doing down-sizing where she works and she may be getting the axe. If she’s gone for weeks before this down-sizing then she’s certain she’s going to get the axe. No wonder she’s so nervous. The judge views losing a job as undue hardship, no surprise there, and lets the nervous woman go.
Another juror number is called but it’s not 207. More questions from the judge about undue hardship. Another juror gets excused. This goes on for about 5 more times. Each time my heart sinks into my stomach when they call a juror number. Each time I escape. Then one of the chosen ones, who had been sitting quietly this whole time, suddenly says that he has job issues too! I wanted to throttle him
He gets let off and another replacement is called but again, it’s not me. Finally they have the 7 chosen ones selected. Brave souls that I, and pretty much every other person in that room, wanted to thank profusely.
The chosen ones are escorted to the promised land (Main Courthouse) and the rest of us are released for the day with instructions to call in each night for the rest of the week to see if our number is called. So each night I called but number 207 never came up. And so ends my foray into Jury Duty… well at least for 2 years



